High School
by chocolatexsmores
Summary: Set after NM, Edward never came back. Bella is living with another family, but what happens when she runs into the Cullen's? Switches POV. Usual pairings. Bella is a vampire.
1. Disclaimer

Disclaimer for story:

The following books belong respectively to Stephenie Meyer:

Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, or Breaking Dawn.

I own no part of them.


	2. Chapter 1

_//Flashback//_

So much pain. It was agonizing. I didn't know what was worse, this physical pain, or the pain from Him leaving me.

_This pain!_

I thought as another wave of fire hit my heart. I screamed out loud and opened my eyes. There was a blur in front of them and I quickly realized they were tears.

_Yup. This pain is definitely much worse._

I thought before I blacked out.

_//End Flashback//_

I sat on my bed in my room, looking out the window. It was an exceptionally nice day today, which meant I couldn't go outside.

I sighed and lay back on my pillow. These were the worst days for me now. The sunny ones. I used to love them. When I could go out in public on these days.

I heard the door slam downstairs and got up. Emily came into my room, smiling hugely. That could only mean one thing.

"Oh no! You didn't, did you?"

She just kept smiling so I took that as a yes.

Sean came in behind her and dropped what must have been fifty bags of designer clothes on my floor.

"She did, and she made me carry them every where, so you better wear them!"

I smiled at my friends. I had joined their quaint coven a few years back. Twenty-three, to be exact.

They had been vampires much longer than I had, but we were all around seventeen and eighteen.

Sean and Emily met a little while after they had been changed and their love blossomed.

Though I didn't show it, it made me sick to my stomach to see them around each other. They were always looking at each other, touching, kissing.

It reminded me of one thing…

I started looking through the newest pile of clothes to get my mind off the track it had gone down.

I picked up a hot pink vest with lime green sleeves and purple fur on the hood. I looked at Emily.

"You don't seriously think that I'm going to wear this to school, do you?"

Her wide variety of clothing reminded me of Alice.

"No, silly."

She grabbed it out of my hand. "That's for me."

I rolled my eyes and picked up a plain, navy blue sweatshirt.

"This is nice." Emily rolled her eyes. "I only got that because you get it free when you buy this." she said and held up a pair of bright orange pants.

"Is that for you too? That will go nice with the vest." I said sarcastically. "Nope," she said, not catching the sarcasm, or if she did she did a good job of hiding it, "These are for you."

I came in from hunting, we all hunt animals; not humans, and Sean was sitting on the couch, playing his latest video game.

"Are you skipping again today, Sean?" I asked him. "No. I'm just coming in late." "Again." I added.

He rolled his eyes at me. "Bella! You take school way too seriously. You're a junior for the twentieth time! Geez! It's okay to skip a day or two now and then."

"Sean, a day or two? What happened to the whole semester you skipped because you had _ammonia_?" I cocked an eyebrow at him and he returned to his game.

We pulled into the parking lot of the school. I had pretty much the same classes as every year, so I knew everything by heart now, not to mention having a picture perfect memory.

I got out and slammed the door behind me. "I'm sorrryyyyyy!!" Emily said, getting out of the car and running to catch up to me. "You just seem so lonely! You should really find a boyfriend!!"

She said that last part quite loud and I saw a lot of boys look up, interested. I kept walking.

"You _always_ have to bring this up, Emily!!" Sean said. He put his arm around her shoulder. "But she seems so lonely!" she said.

"It's none of your business!" I growled back.

They didn't know anything about Him or the rest of his family. If they knew, I could only imagine what Emily would do.

Thinking about Him and his family made me extremely angry, and I could practically feel my eyes turning red. My palms started simmering. Sean and Emily must have seen because they ran up to me.

"Bella! You need to calm down, now! Emily always says stuff like that, you should hear what she says to me, and I'm her husband!"

I took a deep breath and when I calmed down I turned around. "You're right. I'm sorry Emily."

"No, I'm sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have gone that far. I know it's a touchy subject with you, even though I have know idea why…,"

I was grateful to be in the school so she would be distracted from where her train of thoughts was taking her. I didn't want to go there. Especially with Emily.

Emily and Sean had the same power; they could highly influence people but listening to their minds and putting thoughts into them. They never used it though because for some reason it made them and anyone else around them instantly depressed.

My power was more unique and I fought the Volturri off many times for and with it.

I could make fire. Whenever I got really angry, it would randomly come out of my hands and my eyes would turn red. I could throw it and stuff like that, but it never stayed. It would just die after burning its target.

Our lockers were all in the same part of the hallway since we were all "juniors" and my last name was Swan and theirs was Thomas we were also in the same homeroom.

We just closed them when someone announced over the loud speaker that the juniors and seniors were to report immediately to the auditorium.

I looked at Sean and Emily and rolled my eyes. "Let's go." I said, leading the way.

We walked into the crowded auditorium and took seats close to the back. I watched people pile in and soon the whole auditorium was full.

Emily, Sean, and I always had to hold our breath whenever we came here because there were just so many people packed into a slightly small room and the scent was overwhelming.

The principle stood up and said his usual, _you doing great this year, no smoking, too many detentions; I know we are going to make this the best year yet! _All in his high pitched annoying voice.

I started to tune out when he said;

"I am however, disappointed in the junior and senior classes. We have been in school for over 5 months now, and you all know the school policy. Any more people late to classes without passes have no more warnings. It's going to be strictly detentions. This reminds me. There have been _way_ too many detentions and we're not even halfway through the year! The teachers and I have been talking about canceling your prom,"

He was interrupted here when the crowd yelled with objections.

My mind instantly trailed to Jasper and how I would have felt bad for him if he was here now, feeling everyone's emotions.

"I could seriously care less right now." Emily said at vampire speed. "I've been to about twenty proms already! It's always the same drama! Nothing new."

I smiled and nodded my head while Sean chuckled.

The back double door slammed shut and everyone turned around to see who it was.

A short blond haired teacher walked in a smiled sheepishly, "Sorry." She said quietly.

I started to turn back around when I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I looked where I saw it and whipped my head back around and gasped.

I sunk down in my seat as far as I could go. Sean and Emily both looked at me with curious faces. I closed my eyes and hoped that they wouldn't see me,

_The Cullen's._

Well, that's the end of the first chapter. Tomorrow is Halloween and I am wicked excited so I have to finish all my homework now. I'm going to try to have another chapter up before the end of the weekend. Review and no flames please.

Kay


	3. Chapter 2

What were they doing here? Why were they here?

I thought these questions to myself while under the watchful eyes of Sean and Emily.

"Bella? What's wrong?" Sean asked.

I shook my head and Emily shrugged her shoulders. I sank even lower in my seat, knowing that if _he_ was listening, he would have heard my name.

But what was I going off about? It's not like he would actually talk to me! He left me! Not the other way around.

This bit of insight allowed me to sit up again.

I decided not to tell Emily or Sean about them until we got home.

The principle said his last line and thanked everyone for listening. Everyone stood up to leave except me. I stayed seated and Sean and Emily stood next to me.

"Are you going to get up Bella, or spend the rest of the day in here?" Emily asked me.

I smiled at her and hesitantly stood up. I looked towards those seats but the Cullen's had already left.

I let out a breath and followed Sean and Emily out the door.

We all took in air and started towards the English hallway where our next class was.

To get to the English hallway we had to pass the guidance office. I wished we didn't when I saw who was in there.

They were all here, except for Carlisle and Esme of course. I watched them as I passed. I was about to look away when quickly, Jasper's eyes shot up to meet mine.

His eyes squinted and then widened. I could feel his gaze still on me as I tried to dodge pass the people in the hallway.

"Bella!" I heard Emily and Sean yell behind me at vampire speed.

**Sorry this is such a short chapter but I was going to switch to another POV and I wanted to start a new chapter for that. Thanks for reading!! Don't forget to review and no flames.**

_**Sweet16994- lol, I know. I wrote it before Halloween but I changed so much of it when I actually put it on the site.**_

**Sweet16994**

**Isabella**

**Soul meets soul on lover's lip**

**I luv the cute sexy vampire**

**Thank you guys for reviewing!**


	4. Chapter 3

Jasper POV

High school was bad enough once, but fifty times?! I mean come on! And the worst part wasn't about relearning everything I already knew. It was the emotions!

God, high school was the worst school for emotions! I practically died (no pun intended) everyday from all the emotions.

It was always the same too. Tired from waking up early, sad because the boyfriend just broke up with you, mad because the teacher gave so much homework…. The list went on and on!

I walked along side Alice as we walked up to the auditorium doors.

"We should probably hold our breath." Suggested Emmet, even though I could tell that he was mainly talking to me.

I sighed. "Let's go." I opened the door and Edward, Alice, Emmet, Rosalie, and I all took in deep breaths, just incase.

We had all hunted before school, except for Edward.

Ah, Edward. He had problems, and I'm not just talking about hearing things. I mean real problems.

Ever since he left Bella he's been keeping to himself all depressed. If he wasn't a vampire, I would have thought he was cutting himself.

I was pulled out of my thought bubble by the principle going on and on about how great this year was going to be. Pshh. As if. High school was always the same.

I tuned out and was actually startled when the back door slammed shut. I wasn't going to bother looking, but everyone else looked so I thought it would be kind of weird if I was the only person in the auditorium not looking.

I almost laughed at the look on the young teacher's face. She was so surprised. But what surprised me next was an all-the-sudden huge rush of emotion.

There were so many, too! I could feel it combined into one. Love, hate, sadness, anger, jealousy, confusion…. It was almost too much to handle.

There must be another vampire here. A human would have never been able to handle all those emotions quietly.

Edward looked at me questioningly. He was listening. We both took quick sniffs of the air to see if I was right and I was. We scanned the auditorium and found them.

If was a girl and another boy, and it looked as though there was someone with them, slouching down, but it could have just been a human.

By now the rest of the family knew what we knew.

"Should we say something to them?" Edward asked. I shrugged my shoulders.

"We don't want to start something." I replied. "What is it going to start if we just introduced ourselves?" asked Rosalie.

"A lot could happen. They could see us as enemies." I said. "Yeah, but they could see us as friends." retorted Rosalie.

The principle finished his speech and the students started piling out of the auditorium. We stood up and I could feel a lot of lust coming from someone.

I had figured that it was just Emmet and Rosalie, but I was wrong. There was a boy, by the looks of it a senior, staring at Alice with the lust plain in his eyes.

He met my glare and looked away. I swear if we had met anywhere else, I would have killed him. I put my arm around Alice for everyone to see she was mine.

I felt the lust again, coming off the same person. I whipped around, ready for a fight but I saw that he was now looking at Rosalie, so I let it go. Now he was Emmet's problem, or more Emmet was his problem.

I felt a huge wave of depression and looked over at the source of it all. Edward. Of course. He had heard all of that.

Poor Edward. He really misses Bella… and you can still here me. Sorry. I looked at Edward apologetically and he nodded once.

We were ushered to the guidance office, and, knowing Edward had turned off his "radar", I was allowed to freely think about Bella without being punched in the face.

I looked out the closed glass door of the guidance office just in time to see someone walking by, watching us.

At first, I gave it no thought. I was used to people looking at us. And then, I noticed her eyes. They were the same color gold, if not lighter than ours.

For some reason, her face struck a cord in me. She looked familiar, almost Bella like- Bella! No, it couldn't be her. She was gone now.

I was still looking at her when she fled. Two other vampires chased after her and what they called her startled me. "Bella."

I looked at the blank wall near the door. My eyes were wide. I didn't know what to do.

Should I tell Edward, get his hopes up, just to be crushed if it wasn't her? But what if it was her? He could fix everything, like we all know he wanted to.

I looked at Edward and found he was studying me. Uh oh. How much had he heard?

"I only heard from 'But what if it was her?'" he said at vampire speed. "What if who was her?" he asked.

I tried not to think the name, but that's really hard to do and I'm sure I slipped because he looked extremely depressed.

"Bella?" he whispered, almost too quiet for me to hear. I could tell the rest of the family was listening because Alice got a huge grin on her face and squealed at vampire sound.

"Seriously?" she asked. Damn it. What did I just get myself into? I guess I didn't answer fast enough because Edward spoke with extreme impatience, "What are you talking about, Jasper?"

"I thought I saw Bella, but I might not have." "Of course you didn't see Bella. She's gone now." Edward growled when Emmet said this. "What? It's true!"

I could practically see what was coming so I grabbed Edward and held him back. Alice helped me as Edward started clawing at Emmet.

He stopped as soon as the guidance counselor came into the room, but he still glared at Emmet. "Alright, so here are your schedules. We had to make some changes because a lot of the students switched high school last minute, so here you go and I hope you have a good first day of school."

We took our schedules and walked outside of the office. "I have English first, does anyone else? Room 112." Alice said.

"I do too." said Edward. "and then I have study." he finished. "YAY! Me too!!" Alice pecked my cheek and grabbed Edward's arm and skipped away.

I rolled my eyes and walked to art with Rosalie while Emmet went to Calculus. We were all enrolled as juniors this year, so we would probably have a lot of classes together which was good.

There's nothing worse than having to be partners with a human. Either a male who is always jealous of you or a female who has lust for you. It got extremely annoying.

Sometimes I wish I was ugly…

**Please review, no flames! I love writing in Jasper's POV because you can pretty much have whatever you want going on in his mind. LOL.**


	5. Chapter 4

**Edward's POV**

Alice and I walked into English but we were late. We got away with it though with one crooked smile from me to the teacher.

_Oh my…_ The teacher's thoughts said. _That smile, oh my god. Look away!_ I walked to my seat.

This was the second time today that I got more depression on top of my normal depression. First was when Jasper talked about Bella and just now when the teacher thought about my smile.

I always used that smile around Bella. It was her favorite. I looked down at my desk and sighed.

Out of nowhere Alice screamed. At first I thought that everyone must have heard her, but then I realized that she screamed in her mind.

I looked at her with a questioning look. _I just had a vision!!_ She said, excited. _I can't believe it!_

"Play the damn vision already." I whispered. _Fine. Geesh, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. Well, I guess you don't sleep, but you do spend an enormous amount of time in your room. So I guess you got up on the wrong side of the couch. Wait, can you do that? I don't think-_

"ALICE! GET TO THE VISION! GOD!" I interrupted her. She was SO annoying sometimes!

_Fine, Mr. Grumpy-Pants! Here you go. _

It started out with me walking through the parking lot and the rest of my family leaning against the car. Then, as I watched the vision changed as if it was coming from my point of view and I saw… No. It couldn't be. I shook the thought out of my head and kept watching. She turned around and saw me coming towards her. She stopped and scowled at me. "Bella?" I heard myself question.

What? How? This didn't make sense. _Keep watching Edward._ 'Bella' looked at me, but didn't say anything. "Bella…" I heard myself say, unsure. When she looked down, I took that as a conformation.

The vision ended and I blinked and looked at Alice. She was grinning ear to ear. I would have been too if I wasn't so damn confused. When did this happen? I could tell she was a vampire and she looked about my age.

So Jasper was right? He really did see Bella?

_Edward! She's here! I can smell her!!_ Alice interrupted my thought process. I sniffed the air. I could too! I sniffed again and closed my eyes. I had missed that smell.

I smelled the air more deeply this time and let myself drown in the smell.

Before I knew it, the bell rang and Alice and I were off to study.

**Sorry this was a short chapter, but I'm switching to Bella's POV now. Review, no flames.**

**Thanks everyone for reviewing!**


	6. Chapter 5

Bella POV

I was walking in the hallway when out of nowhere Emily ran up to me. Seriously out of nowhere. There were no doors or other hallways next to me.

"What the hell, Emily? Where did you just come from?" I asked. "Doesn't matter," she was speaking really fast so I knew this was important.

"I was just walking through the hallway when I walked by these two people, and guess what!!" I knew where this one was going, "THEY WERE VAMPIRES!!" She yelled. I covered her mouth and looked around.

There were only a few other people in the hallway but they didn't seem to hear her.

"Emily!!!" I hissed. "Sorry, anyways, so I listened into their minds and it seemed that the girl was talking to the boy in her mind! I think he can read minds too! And then the weirdest thing happened…" she looked at me and hesitated.

"What?" I asked, curious.

"They were talking about you. Like, they said Bella, but I knew they were talking about you first of all because they said Swan, and that's your last name, and then they were thinking or talking about how you were a vampire." she finished and looked at me.

"Bella? Are you alright?"

They knew I was here, and that I was a vampire?

This shouldn't have made me happy, but for some reason it did. At first, I thought that Edward would come back to me, but then after I remembered that he didn't love me I let go of that thought.

I looked Emily, who was still waiting for an answer. "Yeah, I'm fine." I took a deep breath. "So, do you know them?"

"Yes" I whispered and looked down. "How?" she had an excited gleam in her eyes.

"Okay, I'll tell you, but you're not aloud to bring it up after this, okay?" She nodded her head and I continued.

"Before I became a vampire, when I was human, Edward, the boy you saw, was a vampire. I fell in love with him and I _thought _he fell in love with me, or he was in love with me for a little while, and then, he left me."

"Did he tell you why?" she asked. I tilted my head and looked up. "Not really, I mean he said he had many distractions. I figured it was just someone else, WAIT! The girl you saw him with, what did she look like?"

I didn't know why, but when I realized that she could have been his new girlfriend, I felt sick and wanted to leave.

"She was short and thin in the extreme with short spiky black hair…" I sighed, "Alice."

Emily studied me. "You're still in love with him." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. I looked down. Emily smiled widely and put her arm around me. "My Bella is in love!"

"I'm going to class." I growled. "Remember, you're not to say anything besides to Sean." I said. "Okey dokey."

I walked away thinking about what she said. Yes, I was still in love with him, but I already knew that. What I didn't know though was why. Why did I still love him when he doesn't love me?

The day seemed to go by extremely slow today, but that was probably because I was trying to avoid the Cullen's at all points possible.

I walked to my locker, happy that C and H was nowhere near S. I opened it and put my books away. I slammed it shut and turned to walk when I saw Rosalie and Emmet down the hallway watching me.

Emmet smiled at me when he saw me looking, and to my surprise, so did Rosalie. "Bella!" I heard Emmet yell. "Hi." I said and turned around and went out the back door.

I didn't want to look back but I wanted to make sure they weren't following me, so I did.

I let out a breath of relief when I saw that they weren't.

_Shit. I take that back._

Across from Sean's car where he and Emily were waiting, was I assumed the Cullen's car, and they were all standing around it.

I looked forward and walked right to Sean and Emily. As I was walking, I could see Edward coming towards me. I wanted to run, but it would have looked suspicious to the other students in the parking lot.

He was getting closer. _Damn it. _ I could tell that Emily and Sean weren't going to help me so I turned around.

Edward stopped in his tracks and I scowled at him. Why me? Why now? "Bella?" I heard him question. I didn't say anything and just kept scowling.

"Bella…" I looked down.

"Bella!" Alice yelled. I looked up just in time to see a blur running towards me. Next thing I knew I was being squished by a pixie.

It surprised me when she hugged me that it took a while for me to hug her back. "Bella! I missed you sooooo much!" She said.

"I missed you, too…" I said. I had to remember that she wasn't the one who wanted to leave.

She let go and stood next to Edward, grinning. I tried not to look at Edward, but that's hard not to do when he's staring at you.

"Oh, um, this is Sean, and this is Emily." I said pointing them out. "And this is Rosalie, Emmet, Jasper, Alice, and … Edward…" I told Sean and Emily.

"Bella, let me explain!" Edward started, but I cut him off. "No, Edward, it's okay. I got it. It's fine. You don't love me anymore. You don't need to explain. I'll see you all around school, I guess…" I said, while getting into my car.

I drove out of the parking lot faster than I ever drove before, straight home.

**YAY! Another chapter finished. Review please, no flames!! **


	7. Chapter 6

**Oh my, God, you guys. I have not updated in about five months and I'm soooo sorry. I don't really have an excuse except school and other stories that I had to finish. Also because…**

**Okay, so I had written like five chapters for this on my other laptop but it broke and so I lost all the files and I was really mad and they had taken like a month to write so I was just going to rewrite them later but then I couldn't remember where I was going with the story, BUT I know now. I know where I'm going to go with this story, so I'm going to finish it!!! YEAH!**

**Okay, so either you are happy now or you are pissed that I kept the story for so long and I'm very sorry and you can all throw rocks at me now. : ~[ **

**On with the story. **

_**From chapter 5:**_

"_Bella, let me explain!" Edward started, but I cut him off. "No, Edward, it's okay. I got it. It's fine. You don't love me anymore. You don't need to explain. I'll see you all around school, I guess…" I said, while getting into my car._

_I drove out of the parking lot faster than I ever drove before, straight home._

**Chapter 6:**

Bella POV

The next few days I had skipped school and stayed in my room, listening to the radio. I didn't know any of the songs because it was a station that played new music and I usually only listened to old music.

It was Monday morning and I was getting dressed, still not planning on going to school. A knock sounded on my door and Emily walked in. "How are you feeling?" she asked me, sitting on my bed, watching me go through my closet.

"Fine." I answered her simply, hoping she would take it and leave, but Emily being Emily, of course that wasn't going to happen. "Bella, you're obviously not _fine_ because if you were you wouldn't have stayed in your room for the past four days."

I turned around to look at her. "Hey, I went hunting yesterday!" I said, defending myself. She cocked an eyebrow at me but let it slide. "Are you going to school today?" I shook my head, still fishing through my overly stocked closet thanks to Emily.

"Isabella Swan. You cannot just ignore them. I know you told me not to bring this up, but they _are_ part of your life. You can't just pretend they're not. Like I said before, I know that you're still in love with Edwin-"

"It's Edward." I interrupted her. She gave me a face like I just proved her point. "Em. Telling you his name is not me proving to you that I still love him-"

"HA!" she yelled, jumping up and pointing at me. "So you _do_ still love him!" I stopped going through my clothes and stepped away from the closet, my hands burning. "Okay, Emily. _Yes._ Yes, I still love him, okay? I am still completely and utterly in love with him, okay? But that doesn't matter because _he _left _me_. Not the other way around."

Spurts of fire were erupting from my fingertips and Emily had backed away near the door, her hands up in surrender. "Bells, calm down. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." I paused, the fire dying and I fell on my knees, looking at the ground.

Dry sobs began erupting from my chest. Arms encircled me, holding me close and I leaned into Emily, sobbing into her shoulder. "Why is he doing this to me?" I sobbed, trying to take deep breaths. "Bella, it's okay. Please don't cry. How do you know he doesn't love you?" she questioned, running her fingers through my hair.

"What do you mean? He left me. Isn't that reason enough?" I felt her shake her head on top of mine. "No, I mean you know how Sean and I were changed around the same time?" she asked. I nodded my head.

Sean and Emily had been in love before they were changed. Then a hunting vampire had come by while they were on a walk and had bitten them both, almost fully draining Emily. They have no idea why or how the vampire stopped drinking them. He just did.

"Well, I never told you this before, but when Sean had changed before me, he watched over me, cared for me until I fully changed. I had always been able to stay away from humans, but Sean killed the first one he smelt, he took after the innocent person. After that, he tried to stay away from me, scared that he would hurt me. He always referred to himself as the devil, sent straight from hell."

I watched her, my sobs stopping as she relayed her story to me, almost understanding where she was going. "You see? Sean left me because he didn't want to hurt me. How do you know that wasn't why Edward left you? I mean, he was a vampire, you were human. He must have been at least a little frightened that he would hurt you."

I sat up and gasped. That was exactly something Edward would do. Leave me for my own good, not even thinking about himself or what I actually _wanted_, just what he thought was _right_ for me. I sighed, "Like a human life." I mumbled.

Emily looked down at me confused. I shook my head, telling her not to ask. I stood up. "Are you alright?" she asked, still on the floor. I wiped my eyes out of habit and nodded. "I'm going to go for a run." I said quietly.

I had _a lot_ to think about.

**So, how did you like that chapter? I know it was kind of short but oh well. I have to read a chapter in my bio book, sorry. Work comes before play. Well I think play comes before work but hahahahah my mom is yelling at me as I am typing this because I am not off the computer yet.**

**Okay, review!!!**


	8. Chapter 7

Bella POV

I ran through the woods at a steady pace, thinking about what Emily had said. So, if he really had left me so not to hurt me, did that mean he still loved me? And if he did, why didn't he ever find me? I shook these thoughts from my mind as I picked up my speed, passing trees faster than before.

A familiar scent hit me as I rounded a large rock, almost crashing into a tree. I stopped abruptly, straining my ears to listen to any sounds that would prove me wrong. Twigs were crunching somewhere to my right and I whipped around, facing whatever danger was about to come towards me.

I gasped as someone came into view. I wanted to run, but my legs locked me in place, not letting me move. Emmett looked up at me and a childish grin came across his face. "Bella!" he said, excited, walking up to me.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, still smiling. _I could ask the same._ I thought to myself. "I live just down that hill." I said, pointing behind me. I gasped, my breath completely leaving me as he swept me up in an Emmett-sized bear hug. I smiled as the past caught up with me and all the memories of Emmett's hugs flooded through my mind, along with my near-death experiences from almost suffocating.

"Emmett, what are you-" Emmett dropped me at the sound of another person's voice and I stood behind him, hoping beyond belief that Edward wouldn't see me. _Too late._ I thought at Edward's next words.

"Bella?" he asked, looking around Emmett at me. His facial features were raised in shock and surprise. "Whoa. This is going to get awkward so I'm going to leave now. I'll see you later Bella. Hopefully." He added under his breath with a glance at Edward.

Edward growled, most likely at whatever Emmett thought and turned his attention back to me. Emmett was out of the clearing faster than I would have thought possible, even with vampire speed which left Edward and I alone in the woods.

Edward stared at me as I took a sudden fascination in my shoes, ruffling the dirt around. "Bella, _please_ let me explain before you jump to conclusions-" my head snapped up, my eyes glared.

"Jump to conclusions, Edward? There's not much _jumping_ you can't do with what you told me." I said accusingly, feeling like I should be pointing fingers. Edward hung his head. "I know and I'm sorry. But you don't understand, I left for you! To save you! I couldn't let you become what I was, and I knew the only way to keep you from that was to leave you."

I closed my eyes and sighed. Edward had talked so fast that I almost didn't catch all of it, but I caught the general drift. It was pretty much what Emily told me it was: Edward had left to save me. "Did you ever think that maybe that _wasn't _best for me? Because obviously it wasn't exactly the _best_…." I trailed off, waving my hand over my body motioning to the fact that I was a vampire.

Edward rubbed the back of his neck, looking embarrassed. "I know… apparently it wasn't the best idea-"

"BEST IDEA!" I interrupted him, yelling at the top of my lungs. He winced at the height my voice took. I tried to calm myself, but breathing wasn't helping anything. _Best idea?!?!?_ When would leaving someone ever be the best idea??

"Edward!" I started, striding towards him, "Why did you leave? Didn't Alice see the outcome? That I would become a vampire?" I was standing just a foot in front of Edward now, having moved unconsciously close. I stopped abruptly before I got too close to be wrapped up in what was Edward.

"I don't know, well I had told her not to look into your future-"

"So first you leave, then you take away my best friend too?" I interrupted him again, immediately wishing I could take it back.

"I know, and I'm sorry. More sorry than you'll ever know." He stepped closer to me and I took a step back, watching him intently.

"And I hope that you'll allow me to show you how sorry I am, if not by forgiving me – which you shouldn't. What I did was horrid and I will regret it for the rest of eternity, but by letting me show you how sorry I am."

I smiled slightly as Edward's normal self started seeping out of the edges. "You're forgiven." Edward looked taken back as he gaped at me. "You can't be serious, Bella." He said after a while, slightly glaring at me. I shrugged. "You were pretty much forgiven right after you left me. I could never stay mad at you anyway."

Edward didn't' look very happy as he stared at me. "You are utterly absurd Bella. Of course, this doesn't exactly surprise me because you've always been ridiculous – in a good way!" he added as I raised my eyebrows. I nodded. "I know, I know. I've always been _absurd_ and my mind is set to a different channel, I know. But it's not my fault that I'm in love with you…"

Edward shook his head, crossing his arms. "Only you Bella. Only you would not be upset with me for leaving you. _This_ is why your head is channeled differently, and of course I love you more than you will ever know. I suppose the saying _'absence makes the heart grow fonder'_ is physically and emotionally true."

I smiled as he pulled his shirt in and out to mimic the pumping of a heart. "But it doesn't matter. Because even if you _do_ let me off that easily, I'm sure my family won't." I shook my head. "There's nothing to be mad at you for. I mean, yeah, the years you were gone felt like I was drowning in the ocean but I couldn't die. I mean sure – I tried to end it plenty of times-"

I was cut off by a loud snarl and I looked up in time to see a blur of what was Edward crash into me, pinning me to a tree. "What did you just say?" he snarled, his top lip raised, showing his perfect teeth. I didn't answer right away for I was slightly dazed being in the presence of his sweet smelling breath and it was filling my mind, jumbling all my thoughts together in one giant blob.

"Why? How could you do that Bella? You _promised_ me that you would stay out of trouble!! You promised you would stay safe!" I glared at him and pulled out of his grasp, side stepping the tree as Edward glared at my every move. "Yeah, I promised I would stay safe for _Charlie_, but right when I was changed, well I couldn't even be near him! What else was I supposed to do?!? I was alone and a newborn! You definitely weren't coming back-"

"Right. That's something else I was meaning to ask you. How could you believe me? How could you believe so quickly that I didn't love you?! I expected to have to tell you at least twice before the thought even crossed your mind that I didn't love you. Did all those times that I told you I loved you mean nothing?"

I took on Edward's glare as his eyes softened. "Hey! Don't make _me_ seem like the inconsiderate vampire here! _You're_ the one that left, not _me_. And besides! It never made sense for you to love me, Edward. Yeah, you told me all the time that you loved me but I always had doubt stored in the back of my mind. I was _human._ A plain human girl, and you. You were an inhumanly beautiful _vampire_ for God's sake! If anyone here is at fault it's you for lying to me!"

My hands started burning and I curled them into fists, willing fire to not come shooting out angry tears were stinging my eyes and I was glad they would never fall, never show my weakness that was Edward. During my rant, I hadn't noticed Edward getting closer and closer to me step by step until I finished and we were practically touching.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean… I know… I'm sorry…" he mumbled, pulling me into him.

I wanted to fight, not break down. Not fight physically, of course. Fight emotionally. Deny my feelings for him that were always on the surface of everything I did. But the moment Edward grabbed my hand to pull me into him, I broke. Meaningless dry sobs racked through my body as Edward held me, stroked my hair, kissed my forehead.

I could tell he was being cautious with his movements, not wanting to upset me even more. Too late. I'm pretty sure I couldn't feel any worse. I was the monster. I couldn't believe what I had yelled at him. I mean, yeah, a part of me felt he deserved it, but he didn't really.

Edward was the most selfless person I ever knew, the love of my life, my soul mate and I had just struck out at him. Blaming everything that had happened to me in the past decades on him.

I looked out at the night. I had been sitting on the ground, wrapped up in Edward for about five hours now, not saying anything. I looked up at him and saw he was looking down at me. I reached my hand up and placed it on his cheek.

"Thank you…" I murmured, my gaze locked on his butterscotch one. He eyebrows knit together and I knew he was about to argue, telling me that I shouldn't be thanking him, that it was all his fault. That's just how Edward was, and I loved him for it.

For now, I shook my head, warning him against saying anything and he nodded, closing his eyes. He leaned forward, his lips brushing my forehead. "Are you okay?" he mumbled, looking into my eyes. I nodded and stretched. "I think I'm going to go home… school tomorrow." I tried to smile, but it didn't come out as happy as I wanted it to. It took on a pained sad expression, mimicking Edward's face exactly.

He stared at me for a moment and then quicker than I would have thought possible, even for a vampire, his lips were on mine. I pushed myself against him, leaning up on my heels and wrapped my arms around his neck.

The only sound throughout the quiet forest was now the whisper of our lips moving in sync, dancing together like they had never before. A million thoughts flooded through my mind from how good this felt, to be with Edward again this way, to how our mouths seemed to become one as they moved in a painfully slow way, finally stopping on one thought they made my lips freeze in place.

I can't do this to myself.

Edward pulled back, having felt my lips become firm under his soft ones. My eyes were still closed as Edward's hands took their place on the sides of my face and my breathing became erratic.

_I can't do this to myself. I can't do this to myself. I can't do this to myself. The pain. All the years of pain. It can't just heal completely, but be covered by a band-aid, but band-aids must be peeled off eventually. Sometimes the wound is gone by then, but sometimes it's not. Sometimes it leaves a scar._

My eyes snapped open and I stood up, Edward's hands falling limp to his side. He looked up at me, no confusion in his eyes but understanding. My face was contorted in apology as I gazed at his understanding, pained face, but he nodded his head, telling me silently that he understood.

"I'm sorry… I can't… I can't live through… the pain again. I need time. Edward, I need time. I'm so sorry… I-I I'm going to go…" and I ran.

Ran straight through the forest, skillfully missing every tree in my path. Silent sobs, once again, claiming my body. I had hurt the one person in the world I loved dearly and I would never forgive myself or deserve him now.

**I hope you guys like this chapter, and I'm sorry for, number one, not updating in a while - school, finals, SAT's, yeah. And, two, when Bella told Edward that she forgave him, at first I left it at that but it didn't seem like enough – and I didn't want to end this chapter where Bella and Edward think they now hate each other, because, even though she left suddenly, they both still know they love each other.**

**She just needs time. LOL. Okay, so review please!! I love you all!**


	9. Chapter 8

Bella POV

I paced in my room, thinking about what I was going to do. I wouldn't leave Forks, I couldn't leave Edward. I wouldn't be able to handle the pain of him not being here. I also wasn't sure what I was going to do about _us_. I knew that I needed time to think things through. Well, that's what I kept telling myself. I actually needed time so that I could trust Edward again.

I couldn't give into him just yet. What if he left me again? Even though I am a vampire now so there would be no need for him to leave, what if he found a reason? What if he thought he wasn't good for me even when I was a vampire?

I sighed and flopped down on my bed. I had been home for a few hours now and all cried out. Emily and Sean had left me to my own thoughts, having made sure I wasn't about to run away from home. I explained to them that I told Edward I needed time and they both agreed it was the best thing to do.

Even with Emily's smiling face, she couldn't hide the disappointment in her eyes. I couldn't help to feel that she was disappointed in me. When I had asked her about it though, she told me she was just disappointed that we hadn't fixed it right there, got it over with.

But whatever. This is what I need. I think.

"Ugh!" I groaned, flopping onto my bed. I have no idea what I need or want. It's all jumbled up in my head. My head snapped up when a tiny knock came from the window beside my bed. Immediately, thoughts of Edward coming through my window at night to lie next to me started playing through my head.

I got up cautiously and walked towards the window, partly hoping it wasn't Edward, but also hoping it was. Alice's face peered from the outside, a huge grin on her face as she bounced excitedly from the tree she was leaning on. I internally groaned as I threw open the door.

She crashed into me and I felt like I was being suffocated by a tiny pixie. I don't know what it was with her and Emmet and hugs…

"Bella!!!" she exclaimed happily, pulling back and holding me out at arm length. "Alice, why are you so happy? I mean, you usually are but you seem happier now." Alice let out a long sigh and 'tutted' like I should know.

"Bella, Bella, Bella. I'm _happy_ because of you and Edward!!" My eyebrows knitted together in confusion as I looked down at the small bouncing pixie. "Alice. We're not together." She shook her head sadly, but then a grin brightened her features. "Yeah, but you guys are working it out!! That counts for something! It means you're getting closer to being together!!"

I groaned out loud and sat back on my bed. "Is this your way of telling me that you saw a vision of Edward and I together, Alice? Because if it is, just tell me." Her face clouded over for a second and she looked at me with concern. "I… didn't have a vision of that…"

I could almost hear the pieces click into place in my brain as I processed that. "No, Bella!! I don't mean it like _that_!! I just mean I see it… both ways… so I don't know what's going to happen – which, by the way, I _really_ hate!!" she whined, standing next to the window again.

"What – Alice, are you leaving?" the disappointment came out in my tone. I had missed Alice dearly and one of the first times that I get to talk to her alone like this, she skips out on me. She nodded her head sadly. "Yeah, I'm going hunting with Jazz, but I wanted to come here first to tell you I was happy for you."

I frowned as I watched her stick a leg out of the window. "Oh, cheer up, Bells. It's not like I'm leaving forev…" she trailed off and an expression of panic and hurt came over her features. "I-I'm sorry… I wasn't thinking…" I shook my head. "Its fine, Alice. Edward explained. Just _go_." With the last word, I had gotten up and practically pushed her out the window.

"Geez, Bells. You don't have to be so pushy." She said, laughing. "Hey. You don't even _know_ how many times I've had to push Edward out of my room when I was human to go hunting." I said, a smile appearing on my face.

"See you later, Bella!!!" Alice yelled as she ran off through the woods. I shook my head slowly as she ran through the woods, dodging trees in an incredibly graceful manner. I turned around to see Emily and Sean standing in my doorway, Sean's arm around Emily.

They were both smiling, but something was off about their smiles, like they were hiding something.

"Hi…" I said, trailing off, getting extremely suspicious.

"So, Bella. We are so glad that you and Edward are trying to work it out…" Emily trailed off and looked up at Sean for help. "But…" I said, trying to keep them going so I could just find out what was going on already.

"But……. Well, Sean just asked me if I would marry him again… and I said yes…" My eyes widened and I smiled. "Congratulations!! But how is that…" I was still trying to put the pieces together, see the bad side of this. Why would I care if they were getting married, I mean besides the family type of caring.

"Well, we're going on a honeymoon – a second honeymoon. To Paris, France." I nodded slowly. "Yeah, and I'm not… going?" I asked, trying to fit words together to make them sound right coming out. Sean shook his head slowly. "Well, I knew that. I mean what's the problem. I'll stay here until you guys get back."

Emily took a deep breath, "Bella, I'm just going to say this straight out, no hidden words. We sold the house." I gaped at them, my mouth hanging open so wide that it was becoming sore. "Why the hell would you do that?!? Where am I supposed to stay?? On the street?!??"

Sean rubbed the back of his neck and stepped forward. "Well, that's kind of where you come in. See, we kind of already have a place for you to stay. You'll love the family… they're willing to take you in… like family, and they're vampires…" he trailed as my mouth stayed open, but this time in horror.

"Are you kidding me right now? No, you can't be serious?!?" I looked between Sean and Emily, wishing beyond belief that this was all a sick joke. "You're making me stay with the Cullen's?!?!?! NO! I won't… I-I'll get an apartment… yeah. I'll rent one until you come back…" I trailed off as Sean and Emily exchanged glances.

"You're… not… coming… back. Are you?" I hissed, feeling my hands start to burn. I had already lost one family. How could they do this to me?!? "Bells, calm down-" "DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!" I screamed, whipping around towards my bed post and grabbing onto it so fire wouldn't shoot out of my hands and burn the house down.

"Well, we want to start our lives… you know, together…" I glared up at them both. "SO? ALL THE CULLEN'S ARE MARRIED AND THEY ALL LIVE TOGETHER!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!! YOU KNOW WHAT?!? I DON'T CARE!! YEAH, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!! GO! GO TO PARIS! SEE WHAT I CARE!! I'LL LEAVE NOW!!" I jumped out the window, once again dry sobs tearing through my chest and I ran through the woods.

I heard Sean say "But, we're not leaving for two more weeks." Hearing this made me even madder as I willed my legs to pump harder, run faster. I ran straight through the forest until I got to the small clearing that I knew marked the Cullen mansion was straight ahead.

I slowed down as it all caught up with me about where I was going. _Edward_. It was weird, I thought that name would send another ripple of pain and hatred through me, but instead it sent relief. Edward was the person I wanted to see right now.

I ran faster, seeing the house in the distance. As I ran, I took in my surroundings, noticing how almost nothing changed. Everything was in the same place. Same cars, same mailbox, same everything. Same brick stairs leading to the door, same wood on the porch, same door handle, same doorbell. _Doorbell._ I looked up in surprise as I realized that I was already at the door, and the doorbell was right in front of me.

I watched as my hand lifted towards the small button. It was like I wasn't inside my body, like I was watching a movie of someone who looked exactly like me doing things I was doing. Before I knew it, my finger had pressed the button and I pulled my hand back quickly, slightly disturbed that it had controlled itself for a little while.

"Bella… are you alright?" Carlisle asked, opening the door and moving aside to let me in. I stayed on the steps though. There was only one person here I wanted to see right now, and if he wasn't here there was no point in going inside.

"Is Edward here?" I asked, ignoring his first question. "Yes, Edward is upstairs in his room." I looked past Carlisle towards the stairs leading to the second level of the Cullen mansion. "Can I…?" I motioned towards the stairs, hoping, but knowing he would say yes.

"Of course. This is your house, after all." I smiled appreciatively at my father figure and walked past him towards the stairs. I was forever grateful to Carlisle and Esme for taking me in with open arms even when I was human. I reached the top of the stairs and new exactly where Edward's room was.

Walking towards his door, I realized that even inside the house, nothing had changed. It was still spotless and looked as though a maid ran the house. I walked past a vase that I remember very nearly smashing to a million pieces had Edward not caught me in time from falling one time when I was human.

I only hope he can catch me from falling right now.

**So? Thoughts? Ideas? No? Okay, review…. Lol so I am on a sugar rush right now so I'm going to write the next chapter instead of doing my homework because my mom just came into my room and threw me a bag of those gummy ring things that are orange and OMG they're sooo good. I practically ate them all in one bite, but, in my defense, I haven't eaten anything all day yet and it's past 4. DON'T ASK ME WHY cuz I have no idea lol **


	10. Chapter 9 DIFFERENT THAN BEFORE!

**READ THIS READ THIS READ THIS READ THIS READ THIS READ THIS READ THIS READ THIS READ THIS **

**You guys I'm realllyyyy sorry, but I hadn't meant to post that last chapter, chapter 9. I hadn't actually finished – well I did but I didn't like the ending of it so I rewrote it and I guess I downloaded it? Although I don't really remember doing that…. I'll have to ask my sister. So anyways, disregard that last chapter. The beginning of this chapter is the same, but the ending is WAYY different. So I'm really sorry for the mix up….**

Bella POV

_Walking towards his door, I realized that even inside the house, nothing had changed. It was still spotless and looked as though a maid ran the house. I walked past a vase that I remember very nearly smashing to a million pieces had Edward not caught me in time from falling one time when I was human. _

_I only hope he can catch me from falling right now._

I reached his door, last one on the left and the only one that was closed. I hesitated, deciding on whether or not I should do this. What if he was busy? Yeah, I think I'll just… take a run. I was about to turn around when the door opened and Edward stepped out, practically bumping into me. He looked down at me in surprise.

"Bella!" he said in shock. He ran his fingers through his perfectly messy bronze hair and I watched it fall back into place, unmoving from his finger-combing. "Are you – Bella, what's wrong?" he bent down a bit so he was eye level with me and grabbed onto the top of my shoulders. "What happened?" he asked, concern evident in his soft, butterscotch eyes.

I shook my head, holding back dry sobs that were ready to explode from my chest as I thought about what had happened. "They're leaving me! They're leaving! They're going to Paris and not coming back! They're leaving!" I gasped for air as small, silent sobs racked through my body.

Edward pulled me into him and picked me up, carrying me into his room. He kicked the door close with his foot and sat down on his bed. He listened quietly to me ranting on about how Emily and Sean were leaving until I finally calmed down, which was almost two hours later.

He leaned away from me, moving the hair out of my face and leaned in again, kissing my cheek. "I'm sorry, Bella… and I know it probably doesn't make it any easier that you're staying with us… me in particular…" I looked up at him as he looked up at the ceiling in thought. I smiled slightly at his tone. He didn't sound very sorry about the last part.

"Edward?" he looked down at me, his butterscotch eyes swimming with love and compassion. I felt my stomach drop. I was doing this to him. "Mmm?" he mused, scanning over my face and wiping away the invisible tears with his eyes. "Thank you."

He smiled and pulled me up closer to him, brushing his lips on mine. I closed my eyes, marveling in and hating the touch at the same time. No, not hating the touch, hating myself for doing this to Edward. But I couldn't bring myself to leave him. I needed him, I just needed… time.

His lips stayed on mine, not moving but not too firm. I opened my eyes, watching his face change expressions. His eyes were closed and there was a line of frustration on his forehead. I wanted to reach up and smooth it out. He sighed against my lips, deepening the kiss.

_I will let him have this._ I thought to myself precariously as his arms tightened around my waist. I concentrated on how his tongue traced along my frozen bottom lip and rubbed against my tongue, sending chills down my spine. His sweet tasting breath started dissolving into my brain, making my thoughts confusing and wrong.

I pulled away abruptly before I started kissing him back, sending mixed signals. His eyes were still closed and I sighed, looking down. I felt extremely guilty for allowing that to continue. What kind of person, or vampire, allows someone they love dearly to kiss them, when they know they should stop it?

Edward's eyes opened and he gazed at me looking apologetic and remorseful. "Too far?" he asked sadly. I looked away, shaking my head. "It was my fault…" I trailed off as Edward's hand grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him. "Bella, none of this is your fault, so I don't want to hear you blaming yourself. If you are going to blame anyone, blame me. I knew that you needed time and I disrespected that. I kissed you anyway. I'm sorry and it won't happen again… I'll stay away from you if you want…"

He added that last part hesitantly and with pain clear on his face and in his tone. I shook my head fervently, placing my hands on either side of his face. "Number one, that _was_ my fault, and two, I don't want you to stay away from me… I just… don't want you… near me? No, no, no! That's not what I meant!! I just meant-"

"I know, you mean that you just need _time_. Time is all anyone ever needs. But I'm just letting you know that I am too attached to you. I love you too much which means, unfortunately for you, I don't think I_ will_ be able to leave you alone until time is up. Whether 'time is up' means that you've moved on, or you're ready to move on with me. No matter what, just know Isabella Marie Swan that I, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen hereby swear that I will wait for you until you are ready."

I stared at Edward as he gazed back at me, replaying his promise in my head again and again until it burned into my brain, never to be forgotten. All the things I thought he would say about me needing time, I never imagined that _this_ would be his answer.

I wanted to tell him not to wait for me, to move on with his life, that when I knew, I would let him know and let him make the final decision. But if I was being completely honest, his promise was exactly what I needed to hear, exactly what I _wanted_ to hear. All I ever wanted was to be with Edward, to be able to trust him again, and his promise made him halfway there.

I inhaled deeply, breathing out my nose quietly and cast my gaze up to Edward's, his orbs probing into my soul, questioning why I was doing this to him. "I hope you will." I said softly. Edward smiled down at me, his sweet breath caressing my senses. I sighed happily, snuggling into his side as we laid on the bed together.

I already knew that one day, I would be done with time and I would take him back, fully into my heart.

Over the next week, I had tried to avoid Edward – no, not avoid him, just… keep my distance. I could tell my decision was hurting him, but he always tried to keep up a mask. A mask that hid all the fears, the pain, the remorse – well, at least that's what my mask was hiding.

Many times I had seen Edward without his mask and the pain I saw there made me almost take back what I had said, taken him back right then and there. But I knew that wasn't fair to either of us. Me because I just wasn't ready yet, and Edward because he deserved much better than someone who could only be there with him with half a heart. No, I had more than just half a heart for Edward, more like three-fourths of a heart.

Two-fourths of my heart had always belonged to him, from the moment I saw him, to the second after he left, to now. The other fourth of my heart was his now that we were somewhat reunited. The last fourth… well I wasn't really sure where it was, but I could feel that it wasn't there, my heart wasn't complete and I had no idea why, but I intended to find out as soon as possible. And when I _did _find out, I intended to fix it so I could be Edward's forever and always like we were always meant to be.

My attention focused back on the book in my lap. I had been staring at page one for the past half hour, lost in my thoughts. I was reading Wuthering Heights. Again. I didn't really have any other books right now, I had left them all at my _other_ house and I did not intend to go back there. Too many memories.

But I didn't mind reading Wuthering Heights again and again. It always seemed to pull me in, get better with each read. I must admit, no matter how many times Edward talked down on Wuthering Heights in the past, it was still a page turner.

_Speak of the devil…_ I thought sarcastically as Edward came sauntering into the room. A run way walk would be a better way to describe the swift and graceful movements his feet made. He looked up, seemingly surprised to find me sprawled out on the dark blue couch in the living room.

Edward smiled his heart-stopping crooked grin as he walked towards me. I smiled back as he sat down next to me, his gaze automatically scanning my book. He snorted and looked back up at me, amusement full in his eyes. "Wuthering Heights? Bella, don't you ever read anything else?" I rolled my eyes at his comical remark.

"Yes, but this one is my favorite." He cocked his eyebrow at me and his eyes glinted with an idea. He stood up and stood over me, looking down at me. He stuck his hand out for me to take, but I just stared at it.

He groaned. "Bella, this isn't some movement to get you back, I'm just helping you up." He said, his eyes flashing with sadness, but disappearing quickly when I grabbed his hand. "What if I don't want to get up?" I shot back at him as he tugged my arm, kind of roughly might I add. I sprang up from the couch and crashed right into him. Vibrations soared through his chest as he chuckled, steadying me so I wouldn't fall over.

My hair fell over my face automatically like it did when I was human. The only difference this time was that I wasn't blushing a furious red under my sheet of hair. "Still just as clumsy. Silly Bella." He murmured more to himself than me and pulled me by the hand behind him.

"Wh-where are we going?" I stuttered as I found my voice again. "We are going to buy you some new books to read." He said casually, lulling me out the door. I shook my head, closing my eyes. Bad idea for a clumsy vampire to do while walking over a threshold.

I stumbled forward, waiting to hit the floor, but a pair of strong, cold arms wrapped around me, pulling me back up. "God damn it, Bella! Can we at least get to the driveway before you get a concussion?" I pulled away from him and walked in front of him breezily. "I'm perfectly fine walking by myself, thank you very much." I snapped.

Behind me, Edward chuckled. I had almost reached the passenger door when all of the sudden, Edward was there, holding open the door. I rolled my eyes and got in, the door shutting behind me. "I'm also perfectly fine with opening and closing my own door." I muttered under my breath, even though I knew Edward could hear me.

He ignored my comment though and threw the car into reverse, pulling out of the driveway at breakneck speed. Since I was a vampire, I wasn't against driving fast so much anymore, but still, reaching 120 was pushing it. "Edward could you-"

"Slow down?" he finished for me, watching the road. His foot lifted off the gas pedal a bit and the speedometer inched down to 100. I sighed in relief and relaxed into the seat. I hadn't realized that it was a Volvo exactly like the one he had when I was human. He was a little obsessed…

We made small talk as he drove, talking about random things – school, music,… Volvos…

The ride was peaceful for the most part, talking to Edward since I hadn't really talked to him much since last week. But there were those small moments, like when I would look out the window and feel Edward's gaze on me. I couldn't help the jolt of guilt that coursed through me whenever he looked at me like that – it just reminded me of my decisions and how I was hurting the person I cared most about in the world.

We pulled up in front of an old looking bookstore outside of town called _Henry Dale's Book Galore Bookstore_, a small, quaint building made of bricks. Edward opened the door, of course holding it open for me, and I stepped inside, looking around. _I could get used to this place_. I thought, smiling.

It was small on the inside, but small in a comfy way, in a homey way. There were fluffy leather couches along the wall, along with a light to accompany each one and a magazine rack. The best part of it though wasn't the books and the size, it was the lighting.

It wasn't those kinds of lights at school – florescent lights that kill your eyes and give you headaches. It was more of a dusty light, giving the room a fireplace-cozy like feeling. "Hello," an older man said, looking up from a desk with an old looking cash register. He looked friendly, a smile complete with small dimples and a white beard hanging past his chin. He stepped around the counter, wearing some kind of robe that reminded me of Dumbledore from the Harry Potter series.

"Hi," I said, giving a small smile to the elderly man, not wanting to scare him away. "Are you here for something special, or just looking around?" he asked, looking between Edward and I.

"Oh, we're just looking around. Thanks for your help though, Sir." Edward answered with a gentle smile of his own. The man smiled wider, if possible, and I felt my heart swell at the sight of it. He was just so cute. "Well, feel free to ask me for help if you need any. I'm Henry, Henry Dale."

I smiled, a small laugh coming out of my mouth. "So this really _is_ your store, huh?" I asked, motioning to the sign hanging outside the door indicating the name of the bookshop. He nodded his head and smiled proudly. "Has been for the past fifty years, and I've been here through it all – the bad and the good. I could never bring myself to leave her. You know how it is when you get attached to something; you just can't let her go."

I looked down. I knew that more than he would ever know.

"But you probably know what I'm talking about though, young man. What with your beautiful girlfriend here." He said, motioning towards mine and Edward's hands. I looked down, wondering what he was talking about until I realized that our hands were unconsciously intertwined.

I released Edward's hand fast, my dead heart going into an unnecessary panic mode, feeling like it was actually sputtering to stop. I inhaled sharply as I looked around the small store. As soon as Edward's hand had fallen away from mine, the shop had lost its comfy and homey feeling, almost seeming like a normal building with bad lighting.

I looked up at Edward in shock, his gaze held mine, refusing to let it go. "I know…" Edward murmured, answering the Mr. Dale's past statement about mine and Edward's relationship. I felt a blush creeping up to my cheeks that would never actually rest there and forced myself to tear away from Edward's gaze.

This was going to take a lot of will power.

**Well, that's the next chapter. The part about the old man, that was actually something that just happened to me a few days ago and when I told me friend about it she didn't find it as cute as I did. She said he was creepy and most likely perverted, but I knew all of you reading this would appreciate it – and even if you didn't… well, too bad.**

**OOH and I'm sorry for not updating in a while. I've been busy studying for finals, MCAS, SAT's and my mom wouldn't let me go on the computer so I've been sneaking onto it the hour I have home alone before she gets back from work. So basically this chapter is a work of about 5 or so days…. JUST ONE MORE MONTH OF SCHOOL!!!! YAY!!!!**


	11. Chapter 10

**Hey guys, sorry for not updating in a while, but i was on vacation and then i got sidetracked with my other story... please don't kill me!! Plus, i already have half of the next chapter written, so that should be up very soon, possibly later today or tomorrow!!!! YAYYYYY!!! And the worst part? This chapter has been sitting in my computer - finished, for about a week??? :*(**

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Edward POV_

The Volvo accelerated as my foot itched forward, reacting in praise to the breakneck speed I was pushing it to. I glanced over towards Bella who was still looking out her window. We had been driving for over twenty minutes now and she had yet to say a word, much less a sound.

After our 'incident' in the book store, she had grabbed three books at random from the bookshelf closest to her and cashed out, barely paying attention to what she was doing. I'm not even sure she knows what books she bought.

My eyes slid over towards the passenger seat again, but this time they caught hold of a pair of wide golden eyes. My jaw clenched and I turned my attention back towards the road. I could feel Bella's gaze still on me as I watched the headlights of passing cars, more like cars _I_ was passing.

"Edward…" she said softly, trying to capture my attention. _Absurd._ I thought. _You have my attention every second of every day._ "Mmm?" I mumbled, acknowledging I was listening. I heard her sigh and a wave of her scent hit me as she flipped her hair over her shoulder to hide her face. It was a good thing her blood didn't call to me anymore because my jaw was already clenched enough, if it was clenched anymore, my teeth were sure to break.

"Never mind…" she mumbled, her face now completely hidden from sight because of her wall of hair. I looked over at her, back at the road, then back at Bella again, wondering why she was so uncomfortable. She was playing with her hands, twisting and untwisting her fingers together.

A tremor trailed down my spine when I remembered the electricity that had coursed through my body when Bella's hand was in mine. Bella looked up at me, having seen me shake slightly and asked, "Are you alright?" I nodded my head quickly, curtly, knowing that if I even _tried_ to say one or two words, a million would spill out over my mouth, explaining my feelings, my thoughts, and my… input on our current relationship.

I mentally snorted thinking of the word _relationship_. I highly doubted that I could call what we had right now a relationship. It was my entire fault. This whole situation. If I hadn't come back, if I had just been strong enough to stay away….

"Edward," Bella's voice broke through my thoughts, piercing the quiet of the car with her beautifully melodic voice. My head snapped towards her, still lost in my self-loathing thoughts. I could see in her eyes that she knew what I was thinking. They were filled of sadness, but also equipped with displeasure. "Don't." was all she said, her eyes locked on mine.

At that moment, I was more glad than I had ever been before that I didn't necessarily need to look at the road ahead of me while I drove, because if I did, I don't think I could turn away from her intense stare.

I grimaced and slowly turned back to face the road. "Why?" I questioned, concentrating on breathing deeply and not breaking the wheel. "How can you not blame me for this… this _situation_, Bella? It's entirely my fault. If I hadn't come back. If I hadn't left. If I had just made up my mind. Of course I wanted to come back, but I shouldn't have. Now look. Look what's happened to you. See? I told you that I'm no good for you! First my presence upsets you immensely, and now your other family is leaving…"

I trailed off as I heard Bella's sharp intake of breath. My head turned towards her and my mouth opened slightly in shock. Her face was turned towards the window, but that didn't hide the fact from me that she was crying. I gasped in shock as I realized that I had, once again, hurt my Bella.

I had been so stupid to bring up Emily and Sean! I knew it was still a tender subject, yet I was too preoccupied in my self-loathing that I had dismissed Bella's feelings for my own. Disgusted with myself, I slammed down on the gas, not caring of the other passengers on the road at this point, only caring about Bella and how I had just hurt her.

I chanced a look at Bella and turned away almost immediately. It was hard enough to see Bella upset, but it was even harder to know that I had caused it.

I focused back on the road, knowing exactly where I was headed.

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I pulled the Volvo into a deserted clearing off the highway as Bella gave me a questioning look. My lips pulled into a tight line in answer to her question and she took to looking out the window again. I parked the car in front of a half dead tree.

The irony of the tree symbolizing how I felt almost made me laugh, almost. I opened the door as soon as the car halted to a stop. Bella looked over towards me, confused. I vampire-walked over to her side and pulled open the door. I pulled her out of the car, threw her on my back, shut the door, and without a single complaint from her, took off running deeper into the woods.

"I can run, you know." Bella whispered against my cold cheek. "I know." I muttered without breaking my stride. Bella rested her chin on my shoulder, her cheek brushing against mine. I felt the invisible tears brush against my cheek that hadn't yet dried from hers.

I ran in silence, concentrating on mine and Bella's breathing, synching mine with hers. The feel of her smooth skin against my neck was almost enough for me to lose concentration, but I kept going towards the Meadow.

I couldn't even count how many times I had come here when my family had returned to Forks. The place was full of sad memories, good memories, but sad because they reminded me of what used to be. Bella sniffled quietly in my ear and it brought me back to the current situation – I had hurt her.

I sighed as I slowed down. We were just on the outside of the Meadow now. I came to a stop and allowed Bella to climb off my back. I walked forward quickly, Bella trailing more slowly behind.

"Bella, I'm sorry." I mumbled, stepping over a fallen tree. "I don't know what's wrong with me. It seems that I can't do or say _one_ thing without upsetting you."

I reached the center of the Meadow and turned around to watch Bella walking towards me.

"Edward," she sighed, shaking her head. She was walking slowly, watching her step. Even though she was a vampire she was still incredibly clumsy. "You have to stop blaming yourself every time when I'm sad. It's not _your_ fault that Emily and Sean left. It's not _your_ fault that I still haven't gotten over it. If anything it's my fault. It's my fault that they're leaving; it's my fault you left-"

My loud growl interrupted Bella's rant. She looked up at me, surprised as I reached her having run at vampire speed. I grabbed her chin roughly in my hand, forcing her to look at me. "Bella. _You _need to stop blaming _yourself_ whenever something happens. It is _not_ your fault that Sean and Emily are leaving, and it is most definitely _not your fault_ that I left. It was my own stupid fault, my own stupid idea."

I let go of Bella's chin and dropped my head, stepping back from her.

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_  
Bella POV_

I looked down as Edward stepped back. It was times like these that I wanted to take Edward back, but I knew that I needed to do it right.

"I thought we weren't going to talk about it anymore…" I mumbled, taking a sudden interest in a blade of grass in front of my feet. I heard Edward's sharp exhale as his hand came up to run through his bronze mess.

I watched him, wanting more than anything to run my own fingers through his hair. I pushed the thought aside with a bit of difficulty. "Bella, you should talk to them. Listen to them – and I'm not saying that what they're doing is acceptable, I'm just saying that you know that if they left and you never said good bye, you would regret it for the rest of eternity."

I averted my gaze from Edward, stubbornly turning my head to the side and crossing my arms across my chest. "What if I don't care anymore, huh? Because I don't. I'm glad they're leaving." I lied through my teeth, knowing full well that Edward knew that as well.

He chuckled humorlessly. "You always were stubborn, Bella, but you also know that that's not true." My arms fell from their cross and hung loosely at my sides as my head fell forward. Next thing I knew I was caught in a stone cold embrace, being held up.

"Come on. I'll bring you to go see them." Edward's voice whispered in my ear quietly. I wanted to refuse, to decline his plan but at the moment I couldn't. Edward's honey scent was seeping through my brain, circling my thoughts, suffocating them. I looked up into Edward's gentle topaz eyes as they probed back into my soul.

****

Hey guys. I'm reallllllyyyy sorry that I haven't updated in sooo long. Blame the evil people who invented finals, and my mom for grounding me from the computer 0_0

**Okay so please review!!! **


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